Discovering Your Inner Widow Warrior


A common phrase in the widow community we hear is “I can’t imagine,” or “you’re so strong.” But when the day is over, and you’re laying in bed gazing up at the ceiling with tears rolling down your cheeks, how can you possibly feel strong? I felt broken. I was a shell of the person I used to be. But I kept hearing those words from family, friends, acquaintances:

“You’re so strong.”

Yeah. Okay. Sure. Whatever. Piss Off.

But here’s the thing, I am strong, but it took me a long time to realize the depth of my grief would unlock a strength equally as wide to pull me out of darkness. I wasn’t going to follow the light at the end of the tunnel because I was the widow warrior holding the lantern. And all I needed was a spark. Something so soothing to my soul it would draw me away from the darkness.

Something that would break my strength only, so I had the opportunity to rebuild it back even stronger. I needed to harness my inner warrior and show that I am as strong physically as people keep claiming I am mentally.

Unleash the Widow Warrior.

In the fitness world, those who go extremely hard on the weekend are titled “Weekend Warriors.” When I think of a widow warrior, I think of a woman or a man who goes hard in one aspect of their life they can control. We cannot control the loss of our spouse, but we can control how we react to it. Some people will lay in bed, grieving, while others will outwardly grieve through writing, childrearing or in my case fitness. I have no connection with those with children because I am childless, so I will not even touch upon that subject. But when it comes to the fitness world, I see so many widow warriors.

Women who are sick and tired of being lonely and eaten alive by grief, so they decide to join Crossfit. They begin to excel in this arena, and the warrior begins to shine. They are tossing weights around like rag dolls, and as they find happiness in this powerlifting community, they are reinventing their future as well.

Creating a new light and path to follow, leaving the darkest day behind.

Like a rocket screaming through the sky erupting in a beautiful glow, people around cannot help but notice. This widow has genuinely discovered the strength so many knew she had.

Did you know only 7% of the American population is widowed? Pretty small percentage and this includes those over 65 years old.

Approximately 36,000 women are widowed under the age of 30 years old, which is about .01% of the United States population.

This is my widow warrior statistic I am very proud of.

Less than 1% of the American population has completed a full marathon. I am also in the camp of the .01% of Americans widowed under the age of 30.

You know what that makes me. I really unique Widow Warrior, and I am looking for other Widow Warriors who are lighting their own paths to becoming extraordinary.

About J.

Fitness professional, fitness & nutrition writer, widowed at 28. Writing about getting through grief through self-care, physical activity, and the ​constant feeling of being uncomfortable.
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2 Responses to Discovering Your Inner Widow Warrior

  1. Alex says:

    I’m no longer certain where you are getting your info, but good topic. I needs to spend a while studying more or understanding more. Thanks for magnificent information I used to be searching for this information for my mission.

    • J. says:

      Hi Alex, thank you for commenting. I am not getting my information through psychology research but by life experience. You see my husband died and these are my thoughts toward moving forward in life.

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