A package was delivered to my apartment on Friday. My dad had told me my cousin made a couple pillows for me and I was really excited when they arrived. She made the pillows out of George’s old neckties. She also made me a cute little clutch purse too. I ripped open the box and there they were. These beautiful patchwork pillows of memories. Staring down at the patterns of each tie, memories pour back. I remembered work days I’d go meet him for lunch in Midtown, fancy dates he would take me on, ties I bought for him, and some I remember he’d get toothpaste on and quickly changed before catching the train. Some he’d wear more than others, and when I traced my fingers over the designs, I remember seeing them hanging in the closets, still knotted and ready to go.
I called my cousin and thanked her over and over again. I had forgotten about the ties, and it was such a wonderful and thoughtful gift. She’s also so talented and I still can’t believe how awesome they came out. I get to rest my head and hug a piece of him again. It makes me feel so complete having them. This losing a loved one is such a process, but having family and people who care makes the journey easier. A lot of self-discovery involved, but I’m glad I have a tremendous bulwark of support.