Run Julia run

The tingle in my muscles and the jitters in my joints are returning. The need to flee is coming back. The brutality of self-loathing is bubbling. I don’t recognize myself and I’m starting to feel distant. I hate who’s been glaring back at me.

My bones ache to hit the pavement and mute the world. To run myself until I weep, and scorch my body from the inside until it turns into something new.

It’s comforting to be back here, but it comes with a price too. I was lost without George, but then miraculously I began building a new life one brick at a time. But I lost count of the bricks and it feels like everything is sinking. I want to run, I want to have my body receive the flogging so my mind can be free.

Just like old times; Time to grit my teeth, put my head down, and walk back into the labyrinth. I’m ready.



About J.

Fitness professional, aspiring writer, college lacrosse coach, widowed at 28, currently dating an Air Force officer who is deployed and documenting the at-home dealings and updates.
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