Stress or grief

I’m really curious if other widows or people who have lost a loved one suffer from this: lately I’ve been having bouts of crying randomly and I’m unsure if it’s because of stress or grief. Today I got home from work and sat down on my couch and just starting sobbing. No particular reason but it came on so strong. Tonight after my spin class I looked up and the night sky was just so beautiful and again I started crying.

I’ve been feeling really uncertain of myself since New Years and I cannot differentiate if this is grief or stress. My lacrosse season begins in a week, and I’m really excited for it to begin. But leading up to it can also be riddled with anxiety. Is everything organized, what do I need to get done, will it run smoothly, etc.

I’m well into the rebuilding stages of widowhood so I’m always curious why I still have these large swings in emotions. The one good thing about it is I usually have them in private whereas before they couldn’t be contained. Bodie still comforts me too during these difficult times. He’s such a great dog. I just think when all the chaos settles down and I have time to breathe, it’s the sudden realization of here I am. This is what I’ve become.


About J.

Fitness professional, fitness & nutrition writer, widowed at 28. Writing about getting through grief through self-care, physical activity, and the ​constant feeling of being uncomfortable.
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8 Responses to Stress or grief

  1. dcheramie says:

    It seems pretty “normal” if thats the right word…I’ve had the same thing happen today and randomly for the last few weeks.. Sending postive thoughts your way as you once did too me, Lean into it

  2. Most definitely. I am hoping the return to the regular work routine will help; hopefully your training next week will do the same for you.

    • J. says:

      I do think a lot of it is preparing for the hectic season. Working with kids 18-22 can have a lot of unpredictability, but having a routine offers so much structure and comfort to the wandering mind.

  3. 53old says:

    Sometimes…..not often though.

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