I’m really curious if other widows or people who have lost a loved one suffer from this: lately I’ve been having bouts of crying randomly and I’m unsure if it’s because of stress or grief. Today I got home from work and sat down on my couch and just starting sobbing. No particular reason but it came on so strong. Tonight after my spin class I looked up and the night sky was just so beautiful and again I started crying.
I’ve been feeling really uncertain of myself since New Years and I cannot differentiate if this is grief or stress. My lacrosse season begins in a week, and I’m really excited for it to begin. But leading up to it can also be riddled with anxiety. Is everything organized, what do I need to get done, will it run smoothly, etc.
I’m well into the rebuilding stages of widowhood so I’m always curious why I still have these large swings in emotions. The one good thing about it is I usually have them in private whereas before they couldn’t be contained. Bodie still comforts me too during these difficult times. He’s such a great dog. I just think when all the chaos settles down and I have time to breathe, it’s the sudden realization of here I am. This is what I’ve become.