Baby back west

The month of November is a huge travel month for me because of my job. The recruiting process of college lacrosse is at its height in November. Every weekend there’s a tournament. It gets hard to choose which ones are best to attend but usually I select from the ones I’ve had most responses from players and where I’ve had the greatest success. Last year I took a risk attending a tournament out west and I’ve returned again this year. There’s perks to this though. George and I vacationed in the Bay Area and I love coming back to be reminded of that wonderful time with him.

I also get to see my brother and his family while I’m here. With the lead up to the second anniversary of George’s passing in just two weeks, Im so happy to be here and remember how important family is to the healing process.

My niece was born a month and a half before George died and every year she celebrates a birthday, i know the anniversary is just around the corner. Each year she gets older is how many years I’ve been separated from him. It’s a morbid juxtaposition but that is what this life is. There’s life and then there’s nothingness. I’ve accepted this sad reality, and to be honest when I see her and realize her infant, toddler years come and go very quickly it is a healthy reminder to embrace the moment. Live in the now and just have as much fun as possible because it can be over so quickly. And if you pass through those moments with little recognition, when you want to remember those moments at critical times you’ll face that blank wall and realize they are lost.

My family has helped me grow and push forward through the most unfortunate obstacles life has handed me. And my niece is a grand reminder to love each second we have together. She has helped me so much in these 2 years and she doesn’t even know it.


About J.

Fitness professional, fitness & nutrition writer, widowed at 28. Writing about getting through grief through self-care, physical activity, and the ​constant feeling of being uncomfortable.
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