Reinventing in Southeast

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It’s been so long since I’ve updated this thing! Someone recently asked me why I hadn’t and I mentioned that nothing too exciting or out of the ordinary has happened so no need to update. But I think there’s a lot. What would have been my two year anniversary just came and went a week ago, and during the time I had recruits at Huntingdon. It was a good distraction, but just like most anniversaries, the lead up to it creates the most anxiety. The days leading up to September 19th were grueling, but when the 19th came, I felt good. Relaxed. Happy. I thought about George, I missed George, but I also remind myself how the love I have for him still has helped me improve and better myself. I’ve said it once and I’ll always say it, I am so lucky to have experienced a love like his. I can only wish when I leave this earth someone loves me as much as I love him.

I’ve been in Alabama for 2 months now, and I LOVE IT! In New Jersey there was this cloud of death and sadness that hovered around me. No matter what I did, I couldn’t shake it. I played by the grieving handbook and didn’t make any major life decisions in the first year of widowhood, but when this opportunity came about I did think it was George pointing me in the direction to reclaim my life. And I think I have. When someone dies, no one can prepare you for the financial aftermath and I was lucky to have support of my parents, and to have a great emergency nest. But the reality came that Drew paid me really poorly, and I never was able to recover financially from George’s passing. I was scraping by. Being down here for 2 months I’ve already rebounded back, and though I don’t think money provides happiness, it does provide security which helps with overall happiness.

In New Jersey I learned to cope with the emotions of losing George, but now I’m learning how to live without him. I am so glad I took this risk to move to Montgomery, because I feel so free and independent. There was an adjustment period, but it was because the culture and people of the South are so different than the North. I’m coaching the sport I love, interacting with passionate and determined young women, meeting all sorts of people from different walks of life, and last but not least, I am teaching spin classes at a gym nearby and every time I am on that bike, I know George is smiling at me. Life it good here in the gump. Plus I met a sweet Air Force fellow at the dog park, and Bodie and his dog have become best friends while we started dating. Can’t really complain. My bouts of grief only last minutes now rather than days. That’s one thing worth noting.

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I was eating a carrot

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About J.

Fitness professional, fitness & nutrition writer, widowed at 28. Writing about getting through grief through self-care, physical activity, and the ​constant feeling of being uncomfortable.
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5 Responses to Reinventing in Southeast

  1. 53old says:

    I finished reading your whole blog…and you remind me….of me…32 years ago…..except I don’t get that expression when I eat carrots. 🙂

    I didn’t move…maybe I should have…but I didn’t have the energy to make such a decision..and after 5 years I met my wife of now 27 years…so things worked out.

    • J. says:

      Wow! Yeah I wasn’t really itching to move. But when this opportunity revealed itself I had to move on it. Whenever I read or hear about people recently widowed, I empathize so much so where the grief returns. Does that happen to you still? I’m about 22 months widowed now and sometimes it feels like how it did the first week. Other times it feels like a lifetime ago.

  2. Elijah says:

    Welcome to Alabama! I found your blog from the link in your profile in the Fun in the Gump Meetup group. My wife and I also came to Alabama to try and reclaim our lives (can’t go into details here) and we’ve now been here about a year and it has been a year of bit by bit making progress in rebuilding our lives. Just wanted to extend a hearty Southern Welcome and hope to meet you at one of the meetups in the future!

    • J. says:

      Thanks for taking the time to read and reply. South has been quite a change but so far so good. Hoping to make it out to a meetup in the near future. I tend to get stuck on the East side of the city.

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