I’ve been in Montgomery, AL for almost two weeks now and my moving company has yet to deliver my items. However that’s for a later date, and no need to even go into that painful story. Tonight I was walking my dog, and as I’ve mentioned in past posts, I love night walks and looking up and seeing the bubbling stars in the blackness above. It stretches as far as the eye can imagine and just hangs there stuck in time. When you look at a star you’re looking at a time of the past, and it comforts me. I look at a star and someone in Iceland can be viewing the same one. It’s kind of cool actually.
As I was walking there was a group of 5 teenagers outside just hanging out. As I walked by one asked what kind of dog Bodie is. I told him and quickly after he followed up with “aren’t you afraid of walking alone in the dark?” Without hesitation, I said no. Then wondered if I should be. Night has always been a metaphor for death, all quiet and cold.
In NJ I would run outside late at night, and take Bodie for mile long walks in the dead of winter night. But the dark has never scared me. Even in Jersey City, after George died, I would walk Bodie at night wishing something heinous would happen to me. But it never did. I think the boy had some sort of innocence to him inquiring about my nightly walks, but the reality is I enjoy them. And until something so unsettling happens on those walks, I plan on continuing them.
I’ve always done things like this. I should be more cautious on my walks, maybe shorten them, but I tend to mind my own business and because of that I just figure others will let me be. Maybe that’s not the case down south, but so far it has been. Except for tonight, when it took a teenage boy to just wonder if I was scared. I’ve walked a long road to find strength, and in the beginning of this journey the stillness of night cradled me back to life.