I’m 4 weeks into lacrosse season and we have yet to be outside which means every single day is morning practice. It is starting to wear on me. I’m becoming more irritable and more emotional. I’m at work between 10-14 hours a day 5 times a week. Simply because I feel the need to make myself available to my players. Especially because if I’m feeling this way I’m sure they are too.
Last year I was so out of my mind to even notice the stress of preseason. Everything in my life at this time drove me awol. I do feel much more stable now. Happier even. I am stressed out and perpetually tired, but I am thankful for what I have. I love my team and I love being around them. They make me happy and I like watching how they progress in such a short period of time. It’s really amazing how one day they don’t understand a concept and then the next they execute it with confidence.
There is something…err… Someone who might be playing into my tiredness. On the weekends for I spend a lot of time with a new guy. I’ve been seeing him consistently for 2 months but started seeing each other almost 3 months now. It’s still very exciting for me. Dating is a pain but meeting someone who stirs up such pleasant feelings is really nice. I enjoy the companionship. I enjoy having someone think I’m beautiful, and I like having someone to curl up next to at night. He doesn’t become mum when I talk about George, and he also seems intrigued in what George and I had. It’s unexpected. The first boyfriend after George. It’s another step in this journey that i feared but I think George would be happy to see me with someone who makes me smile.