Back to California

Early on when I first started this blog I traveled to California with my family for Christmas. It was possibly the worst trip of my life. It was less than a month after George passed and I was miserable. Everytime I returned to the hotel and would visit the pent house room of the hotel, all I wondered was how to open the windows. I was in a really bad place to say the least. But I have returned to California as an entirely different person.

I needed this trip. I’m out here for work but I did choose this recruiting trip purposely to see my brother, sister in law and niece because with George’s death anniversary closing in, I needed a change. I needed to feel that unconditional love that I get when I see my niece. She just turned a year old a few weeks ago. It’s a strange a strange thought; as she ages it will always mark how many years George has been dead. But when I couldn’t bare to look at her or have her in my life, when I see her now it fills me with such limitless joy. It’s great to be here in sunny California.



About J.

Fitness professional, aspiring writer, college lacrosse coach, widowed at 28, currently dating an Air Force officer who is deployed and documenting the at-home dealings and updates.
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