I was dreading my one year anniversary. There was so many emotions that were swirling inside of me in the weeks leading up to it, but there was one event that I had my eye on; Times Square Takeover with Cycle For Survival. It was the second annual Times Square Takeover and it was such a coincidence that it fell on George and my one year anniversary. I love Cycle for Survival because I know where all the money raised goes, and it’s for a wonderful cause. All the money raised goes to further rare cancer research and clinical trials at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. It’s the hospital where George was being treated, and well, I want to raise money so hopefully they can find a way to cure George’s disease and another family doesn’t have to go through this miserable grief that cancer has given me.
I don’t want this post to sound like an advertisement but it’s just so important to me. Having an event like that suspends grief and the hurt for days, even weeks. There’s no bandage big enough to cover up my pain, but there is movements like Cycle for Survival that kills the pain for a bit. I went to NYC on Friday and two days later I’m still in awe of what happened, and how many strong and amazing people I got to meet. When I rode with my team in February I was so raw from George’s passing, but now I’m almost at the 10 months widowed, and it was an entirely different experience. In February I was just so broken, but now I’m kind of figuring out this new life and I know what works for my grief and what doesn’t. Exercise is the best remedy for me.
I got to meet the co-founder of Cycle For Survival, David Linn, and he gave me a bag of wild berry skittles which he read from my last post. I was so moved by the gesture, and if it was months ago I would have started crying, but then I just shined a big grin. It’s amazing the support that’s offered there. So many people who can relate to your situation in a way. I just love it.
I came away from my wedding anniversary with hope. I know I can go on, I know things will progressively get better, and I know there’s so much support out there. Most importantly, I feel like I have been given a purpose. Through George’s death there’s been horrible days, but there’s also been a balance of extraordinary days. I feel he’s watching over me and wants to see me succeed until we’re reunited. Because then I’ll have good stories to tell him about.