I haven’t updated this in quite awhile. My contract at Drew started again in mid August and although I did work throughout the summer, I feel like there’s more and more work piling on top of me everyday. When I come home I just don’t want anything to do with a computer so hence my lack of updates and writing.
In less than a month is what would be my one year anniversary of being married. A lot of mixed emotions have been surfacing. I’m irritable, angry, tired, apathetic, and just really sad. What was working to distract my mind all summer cannot hide what is coming. And its all coming at the start of the semester.
I’ve read and talked with other wids and they say the second year is the hardest because reality sets in. I didn’t really get it for awhile but now I do. I feel myself missing George more and more lately. Almost sadder than I was in the first initial months. When people asked about him, I can reminse without crying. But now I can’t. I feel the warm tears fill the bottom of my eyes whenever someone asks. I miss him. A lot. And I’ve been moving forward with this “new life,” but I want more than anything else is so have everything back. To rewind the years and have him holding my hand while we walk Bodie together.