This one song

I feel like a plagiarize other wids and their posts. One just wrote about songs and how they stir up emotions and now I’m about to do the same. Oh well. George and I rarely shared music. We had different tastes and interests in bands and that was fine. Usually he complained on long car trips because I insisted on playing my tunes. If I’m driving, it’s my music. And usually I was driving.

George was a musician and had a lot of opinions when it came to music. Hence why he thought all the bands I liked were lackluster and talentless. Whatever. But I loved when he would play songs for me and just sit around strumming his guitar. When we first moved to Jersey City we didn’t have cable tv or wifi, so one day he just sat around playing his guitar and making songs up about our dog, Bodie. When George died I gave his guitar to his mom to give to his nephew. Just days before he died he said he wrote me a song and tried to sing it to me. It was beautiful and so sweet. Our time together kind of feels like a dream as time separates us.

So today I put on pandora and the first song that came on was an emo song titled Cat and Mouse. It usually makes me cry because it’s about losing someone you love but sometimes that’s the cost you pay for happiness. Then later on in the day I decided to out my iPod on shuffle and again it was the first song that came on! I thought it was so weird. Sometimes these songs are there to force me to feel the pain. That’s one of them. If I’m a real glutton for punishment I play our song, New York City by They Might Be Giants. That one had made it’s way out the rotation. Far too difficult to hear.

Sometimes when things are going well, that one song comes on and the weight of the universe plummets downwards and crushes everything. Cat and Mouse, you’ve had your way with me today.


About J.

Fitness professional, fitness & nutrition writer, widowed at 28. Writing about getting through grief through self-care, physical activity, and the ​constant feeling of being uncomfortable.
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1 Response to This one song

  1. samdyljor says:

    I see these as signs from our loved ones maybe you needed to feel it more today so tomorrow will be just that little bit brighter MWAH xxx

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