5 years today

Today would have marked 5 years of dating George. On this first anniversary without him I decided to scatter his ashes where he said he wanted them to be. The problem was the location he wanted his ashes scattered, it’s illegal to do so. I’m usually a law abiding citizen, but I had to fulfill the wishes of my departed husband. My friend came over this morning and helped me put his ashes into a ziplock bag so I could discretely carry them around and tossing him in the places he/we loved to visit.

Yes I got plenty of dirty stares throughout the day when I flung the gritty remnants in the air. Mostly the kick back fell on me but on a number of occasions I had to apologize to a few families as I scurried away. I’m pretty sure people thought I was a dust throwing maniac sent there to poo-poo on their 4th of July weekend. But at the end of the day with a dirty backpack and having reddish and puffy eyes from crying nonstop, there was no mistaking what mischievous behavior I was engaged in. I’m a far cry from Scarface, so the next closest would be scattering a loved one.

Dusty bag

Dusty bag

About J.

Fitness professional, fitness & nutrition writer, widowed at 28. Writing about getting through grief through self-care, physical activity, and the ​constant feeling of being uncomfortable.
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