I’ve read on widow boards that the first time you get dumped is pretty tough. I was dumped tonight, but it’s kind of a weird scenario… I was out with friends when I got the text and it definitely took me by surprise. For one, I only saw this person once and we texted back and forth, although I didn’t really like the way he communicated. You see, he was perpetually trying to sext me and that really isn’t my thing. No inappropriate pictures or anything. We’re not dealing with an adolescent. We’re dealing with a grown man with adult responsibilities texting me such crass dialogue. As this dating portion of the blog spews forth you’ll realize I have the ability to attract a different kind of male. Let me give you a brief anecdote of how ridiculous this was:
One time I was out shopping with my mom and he kept messaging me really questionable things and I kept trying to get him to stop, but the more I tried to have him cut it out, the more he pushed. Weird right. You’d think I would say, “hey buddy, I’m not your type of girl,” but you see I love awkward comedy, and again it made for a great story. Why do I do this? Happiness comes with a price.
I haven’t been single since I was 20 years old, and when I was 20, texting was just starting to get big. So being now 28, this is a very different dating world. I wish I could say this was the first man over the age of 30 to try and push the envelope, but it isn’t. Just the first one who’s note worthy.
This is the first time someone had told me we’re on different pages. I kind of always had an idea I’m different than other people around my age due to having such a tremendous loss at a young age. It was really hard to hear, because I think I’m pretty confident with what I’m looking for in life at this moment. Perhaps I’m am idealist? Although, I knew from the get go this was dead in the water. This goes back to wanting to occupy my mind; it’s hard to differentiate why I’m doing something out of interest or out of survival. Widow brain is hard to maneuver and sometimes a swift kick of- hey you’re not for me- stings in ways that have you scratching your head. You’re not into me? Did you see what you wrote me, bro?