Crystal Cave

Back on the bus heading to Lebanon Valley College for our semi-final tournament game. These Pennsylvania trips really wear on me. It’s like a criminal who just was released from prison continuing to visit the scene of the crime in which they committed for the initial arrest. How can you move forward when something keeps pulling you back? Pennsylvania is my real life purgatory. 

I don’t have malice thoughts, its just painful. I gaze out the window as the girls behind me giggle about their inside jokes. It’s starting to rain and we’re approaching Kutztown. A canary yellow sign screams by indicating the next exit to the crystal caves. 

Crystal caves? Like the ones in Bermuda? 

On October 25th, the final day of our honeymoon, George and I went to the crystal caves in Bermuda. It was raining on our final day on the island together. The caves, they were stunning; jaw dropping and wide eyed beautiful. But that beauty came to a halting stop later when he passed away exactly a month after visiting those crystal caves. 

Maybe he’s showing me early on that he’s watching me today. I asked him to this morning, maybe this is a way of saying “I’m here too.”


About J.

Fitness professional, fitness & nutrition writer, widowed at 28. Writing about getting through grief through self-care, physical activity, and the ​constant feeling of being uncomfortable.
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