Transformation Tuesday

My grief today has been pretty bad. I feel like I have been on the cusp of crying since I woke up. All day I’ve been fighting it. Once again my team was there to ease my mind and show me love. I told them at the beginning of practice my grief had been bad and they worked hard, were lighthearted, and made me laugh. I am lucky to have these girls in my life. I wish every widow has a team like I do. They’re truly the best.

After practice I went to SoulCycle and after class I was feeling low, but once I got home I felt a lot better. Usually coming home to an empty apartment is troublesome, but tonight it was what I needed. Strange how that works out. Coming home doesn’t have the same appeal as it once did, but sometimes being alone is what needs to be had to soothe the soul.

Ive talked about SoulCycle I few times… Yes it helps my soul but recently I’ve been thinking more about mind, body and soul. Thoughts, behavior and feelings. My thoughts have been positive, I think, my behavior erratic and my feelings up and down. But with SoulCycle all three are equal parts and it brings me peace. If you’re in te metro NYC or Boston area, you should really consider it. Along with mentally helping me, I can’t deny the physical changes too. I’m starting to lose my widow weight.

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About J.

Fitness professional, fitness & nutrition writer, widowed at 28. Writing about getting through grief through self-care, physical activity, and the ​constant feeling of being uncomfortable.
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