I hate myself

I hate myself tonight for losing control. For getting to workers up over something as minut as a BBQ. I loathe my emotion and how I feel but I cannot control it. My husband died and I cannot deal with the abandonment today.  

 

I went out with local friends today but their emotions were not as supportive. They infuriated me.  I lost who I was and its become more apparent. I’ve changed. I need more support than those who can be there for a beer or two. I hate my life and need those who can support it.  

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About J.

Fitness professional, aspiring writer, college lacrosse coach, widowed at 28, currently dating an Air Force officer who is deployed and documenting the at-home dealings and updates.
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One Response to I hate myself

  1. Krista says:

    I know we don’t know each other, other than this website, but if you ever want to exchange numbers or anything I’d be more then willing to. I only have one other friend who has lost a spouse, and it’s so nice to have that support for/from one another.

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