I hate myself

I hate myself tonight for losing control. For getting to workers up over something as minut as a BBQ. I loathe my emotion and how I feel but I cannot control it. My husband died and I cannot deal with the abandonment today.  


I went out with local friends today but their emotions were not as supportive. They infuriated me.  I lost who I was and its become more apparent. I’ve changed. I need more support than those who can be there for a beer or two. I hate my life and need those who can support it.  


About J.

Fitness professional, aspiring writer, college lacrosse coach, widowed at 28, currently dating an Air Force officer who is deployed and documenting the at-home dealings and updates.
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One Response to I hate myself

  1. Krista says:

    I know we don’t know each other, other than this website, but if you ever want to exchange numbers or anything I’d be more then willing to. I only have one other friend who has lost a spouse, and it’s so nice to have that support for/from one another.

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