I hate myself tonight for losing control. For getting to workers up over something as minut as a BBQ. I loathe my emotion and how I feel but I cannot control it. My husband died and I cannot deal with the abandonment today.
I went out with local friends today but their emotions were not as supportive. They infuriated me. I lost who I was and its become more apparent. I’ve changed. I need more support than those who can be there for a beer or two. I hate my life and need those who can support it.