Well my soul story came out last Tuesday. If you’re interested in seeing how I’m dealing with grief on a daily basis, check out the link:
I think this is the first time I’ve used my last name on the blog… well I don’t think it’s hard to discover my identity so I don’t really care. We lost a game today by 1 goal. The thing that really grinds my gears is the background leading up to this game. I think there was a lot of sly digs that happened prior to gametime, and personally if another coach or players are trying to get into my head or my players heads, they have NO IDEA the strength that my team has. I’ll leave it at that.
Sometimes I really stop to think about my situation. I’m in charge of running a college lacrosse program. I have to be responsible for myself and 20 other girls. I get a lot of times from people, “I don’t know how you do it,” but honestly, how else am I supposed to do it? George knew how much I love lacrosse, and I know that if I wasn’t doing what I love he would feel horrible. I know he wants me to be happy, so if I wasn’t trying to make myself happy he would feel horrible. Why would I want to live my life without him knowing that he would feel horrible if I was missing out and miserable? So I go. Life doesn’t end with him. I must keep on going, regardless of the circumstance. I have to make myself a better person to honor him. I need to be happy so I can rest knowing he would be happy too.
He looks upon me in some weird way, and when he catches glimpses of me, I want him to be proud that I was his and he was mine.