Dead Silence

My team won its second game today and following the game I headed to SoulCycle. As I was on my way I had a sudden urge to talk with George. I just wanted to speak with him and tell him everything that’s going on. But he’s dead. And like a glass hitting the pavement, I shattered. Right as I was turning onto the main road to the studio.

I’m a masochist. Tonight I sat down with the picture book I made for George several Christmas’s ago, and started flipping through it. Looking at the pictures of us together and being so in love and having the best time. And then I decided to listen to the voicemails I have saved on my phone…

I hear his voice, and it’s so lovely, but all I want to do is speak with him. Tell him I’m okay, and that I miss him and still love him. But when I do, or so i think I do, it’s silence returned.

I don’t want to go to Scranton tomorrow. Or ever. It’s too close to where we first met. I need some serious strength in these upcoming days.

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About J.

Fitness professional, fitness & nutrition writer, widowed at 28. Writing about getting through grief through self-care, physical activity, and the ​constant feeling of being uncomfortable.
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One Response to Dead Silence

  1. mewhoami says:

    It’s wonderful that you can hear his voice still, but that may be so hard at the same time.

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