Finding comfort

The way I describe my new life is by comparing it to college. This might also because I work at a university, but with all seriousness some days I just feel like I’m back in college. With the uncertainty and excitement that surrounds new experiences each day. But the biggest thing is, there’s this feel of college except I now have money and no homework. So nights can get a little weird. 

Today I omitted doing the polar bear swim in Coney Island because of my morning mood. Instead I worked out with two of my friends and coming out of the workout I knew I was sadder than normal. Afterwards one of my friends hung out with me for most of the day. We pretty much just watched Brooklyn 99 and talked a bit. During our time hanging out grief swelled up inside of me so quickly I wasn’t sure what to do. So I tried to distract myself by doing dishes. It softened the grief but there was no stopping it and I just let it do it’s due course. 

It was the first time my friend truly saw my grief. And they were good about it. They just allowed me to be sad. And when I asked if I could hold their hand, they were there. It’s really moving when I find comfort in people I normally wouldn’t have expected. There’s some people you think would be great in situations like these, but even they can’t quite grasp it. But my friend today did. And I’m thankful beyond belief that they were there to help me through it. That kind of gesture goes well beyond the realm of friendship. I can’t even put it into words. It’s just truly amazing. 


About J.

Fitness professional, fitness & nutrition writer, widowed at 28. Writing about getting through grief through self-care, physical activity, and the ​constant feeling of being uncomfortable.
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