Nothing new

Not much to report. Had practice today. Got irritated by the lack of effort some of my players had in drills, but they cleaned up quickly. I’ve been going to bed really late, but today I’m hoping to go to bed before 9pm. When I first started working at my current job, I was making the commute from Brooklyn. I would always go to bed before 10pm, and it really impacted George and my together time. We moved to Jersey City so we could spend more time together. Little did we anticipate it would be for only 11 more months.

When I look too long at pictures of George, I feel so hopeless about everything I lost. He was such a central joy in my life, and now it’s all gone. I’m latching onto anything that will bring be that same feeling. Losing the person you were planning on creating a future with is possibly the hardest thing to ever have to go through. I miss him coming home from work with a sandwich for me to have for lunch the next day. I miss him asking me if I want to go to the hot tub to relax for the evening. I miss having him sitting next to my holding my legs as we watch tv. I miss him climbing into bed at 3 in the morning and wrapping his arms around my waist. I miss the happiness he filled my life with.

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About J.

Fitness professional, fitness & nutrition writer, widowed at 28. Writing about getting through grief through self-care, physical activity, and the ​constant feeling of being uncomfortable.
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