More financial burden please

When someone dies, dealing with the financial aftermath is worse than rubbing salt in the wound. It’s more like amputating whatever limbs are left. I had surgery last year and something weird has been happening at the spot of surgery so I went to the doc today. And welp, turns out I need MORE surgery. When he told me, I started tearing up and used the W-card. I frantically said, my husband died and I’m dealing with his stuff and I can’t afford this. Basically this additional crap piling up means additional financial burden. My parents have said they would give me a loan, but I don’t want to be in debt. I want to be independent and whatever hell I travel further into, I want to be able to deal with it myself.

When I started working at the university I’m at now, I would proudly come home and sit with George and tell him how I’m becoming “independent Julia.” He would hug me and say, “I’ll love any type of Julia.” It’s so important to have that cushion of personal growth in a relationship. He supported me no matter what and encourage me to explore who I am. How lucky was I? I was the luckiest girl to have such an amazing person in my life. I feel like all my posts are redundant.

well in other news I met with a lawyer today and it went really well. I don’t want to publicize what it was about but I left the lunch meeting very happy.

I miss George. he would reiterate that my doctors don’t know what theyre doing. I’m starting to agree…


About J.

Fitness professional, fitness & nutrition writer, widowed at 28. Writing about getting through grief through self-care, physical activity, and the ​constant feeling of being uncomfortable.
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