Today’s triumph

With coaching a college lacrosse team, there are parts of the job that cannot be avoided. One of those is recruiting. Recruiting plays such an important role in the success of the program, and I had to put on a brave face. This was the first recruit who’s visited since George passed away. All week I’ve been anxious about “getting back on the horse.” My assistant has been fantastic throughout everything, and she believed that I could handle a recruiting visit. This was a junior in high school who came to visit, and usually with the younger recruits we tend to just introduce the school and allow them to get to know us better, rather than laying out all the details that we usually give to rising/current seniors.

Upon arriving to school, a red car pulled up and I saw it was one of my senior captains. We chitchatted and I mentioned we had a recruit on coming and she was a junior. She smiled and said “Coach, do you need me to help with anything?” She was courteous enough to give the recruit and her father a tour. Of course my assistant and I tagged along because we like hearing what the players say about the university. Honestly, I’m so thankful my player was there to help, because I don’t think I would’ve lasted the entire visit without her. Grief comes at weird times- and yes I had to choke it back during the recruits visit, but it all worked out. I was able to successfully handle my first recruit since George’s passing. Whether this girl decides if she wants to pursue my program as a possible place or not, I will remember her visit for years to come. She helped me realize that I’m stronger than I give myself credit for.

Take the small victories as they come.

I used to love coming home after having recruits on campus to tell George all about it. I think he enjoyed hearing the stories. Maybe he just enjoyed how passionate I was about coaching and building my lacrosse program. He was the best super fan I could’ve ever had. Coming home today was weird because I had no one to share today’s visit with. I’ll probably still tell him before I go to bed. Whether he wants to hear it or not.

Tomorrow I begin the big move out of the apartment. Let’s see how strong I am then.


George was the best recruit I’ve ever had.

About J.

Fitness professional, fitness & nutrition writer, widowed at 28. Writing about getting through grief through self-care, physical activity, and the ​constant feeling of being uncomfortable.
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