Kiss Goodbye


It was at this exact time a month ago I kissed George his final kiss. 12:41am. I whispered in his ear how much I loved him and how he meant to world to me and made me the happiest woman alive. I told him that he didn’t need to worry about me and that I’d be okay. And then I kissed him on the lips before I went to bed. His breathing was so shallow and I pushed his lower jaw up so his lips touched when I kissed him. He was so warm because of his fever and I could feel his warmth on my skin several seconds after I pulled away. It was short because I knew he needed as much air as possible and when his lips parted he gasped trying to get his breathing cadence back. But I needed to steal a kiss.

I went to bed that night knowing he would pass away on Monday the 25th. I just didn’t think it would be hours after our final goodnight.

Holidays are always difficult but I will not be celebrating Christmas. I can’t. George loved dressing up as Santa and he always dressed up for his niece and nephew on Christmas Eve and gave them presents. Without George here, the magic has disappeared. I can’t believe its been a month since I saw him and got to touch and kiss him. If I knew it would be our final kiss, I would’ve given him a thousand more.


About J.

Fitness professional, fitness & nutrition writer, widowed at 28. Writing about getting through grief through self-care, physical activity, and the ​constant feeling of being uncomfortable.
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2 Responses to Kiss Goodbye

  1. Pingback: Life, love and the proverbial “destiny” | ceagesesquivel

  2. Thank you so much for your courage and love.

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